Hope
by njdudette
Summary: A sequel to "Starin' at Her." I've never trusted and felt so comfortable with someone as I do John


TITLE: Hope  
  
AUTHOR: njdudette  
  
SPOILERS: Release  
  
RATING: PG  
  
KEYWORDS: DRR, Angst  
  
SUMMARY: I've never trusted and felt so comfortable with someone as I do John DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned them cause I'd be pretty rich right now, but I don't.  
  
ARCHIVE: If you want it, you can have it. NOTE: This is a follow-up to "Starin' at Her"  
  
  
  
I've known John for about 10 years, but I feel like I've known him forever. I've never trusted and felt so comfortable with someone as I do John. And yet, after all these years, I still can't figure out how he feels about me. It's my turn to buy the next round of drinks and even while I'm fighting my way through the crowd, my mind drifts back to him.  
  
Oh great, there's Steve from the gym. He just doesn't get the hint - I'm not interested. OK, be nice Monica, smile and say hello. Hopefully he saw me sitting with John and he'll assume we're a couple. Again, my thoughts are back to John. I've really been trying not to obsess over him. Every morning I wake up and tell myself, 'move on Monica. If he wanted you he would have made a move already. You've given him enough signs.' Steve is a perfectly good-looking guy and yet I won't give him the time of day. Isn't that how it always is? The one you want is never available when you want him.  
  
Finally, I've reached the bar. God this place is crowded. I can only imagine the line for the ladies room. No! Stop thinking about the bathroom Monica. Once you start going, you'll never stop. This is the one day a week you get to relax with John and you're not going to spend that time standing in line for the ladies room.  
  
Why is John looking at me like that? I so much want that look to mean something, but I know it doesn't. Usually that look means 'I have something caught in my teeth.' Why can't he just see what's right in front of him?  
  
Hmmmm, this guy standing next to me seems kind of cute. I haven't seen him around here before.  
  
"Is it always this crowded on a Friday night?" He asks, while leaning closer.  
  
Oh god, he's wearing Calvin Klein's Obsession. That cologne makes me weak in the knees. Here's my chance to live life and move on. "Not usually. I think it's because there's a band playing tonight. Everyone's trying to get in before they hit you up for a cover charge."  
  
"By the way, my name is Greg."  
  
"Hi, I'm Monica. Nice to meet you."  
  
He motions towards my two beers on the counter and says, "I take it you're not here alone."  
  
Damn! OK, this is fixable. "Uh no, I'm here with my partner. It's our Friday night ritual."  
  
"I see," he comments as he follows my gaze back to where John is sitting. "Do you two have a Saturday night ritual as well?"  
  
Ok, this is working. "No, just Friday nights," I respond with a wry grin.  
  
"I better let you get back to your partner. Would you like to meet up here tomorrow night? Say around 8? I hear there's another band playing."  
  
Success! "Sure, I'd like that."  
  
"Great. It was very nice to meet you Monica."  
  
"Yes, same here Greg. See you tomorrow."  
  
Yes! You did it Monica! You're moving on with your life. If John doesn't want you, there are plenty of men out there who do. I see John sitting in the booth as I work my way back through the crowd and he's still staring at me. Why is he staring at me like that?  
  
I finally reach the table, put the beers down and start looking down at my clothing, " John, why are you looking at me so strangely? Do I have toilet paper stuck to me or something?"  
  
I can't believe what I hear next. "I was just thinkin' . . . . I was thinkin' how nice you look tonight." I'm paralyzed. In all the years I've known John, he's never once commented on how nice I looked.  
  
My mind quickly drifts back to just two weeks ago when John and Barbara released Luke's ashes. I thought things would change between us. Things didn't change; we slipped back into our old routine once Monday morning rolled around.  
  
I look deep into his eyes and I see the look of fear. I suddenly realize how much courage it took for him to say those words to me. I smile at him and reach for his hand as I sit down. It's amazing, but somehow I think a heavy burden has just been lifted off John's shoulders. His hand relaxes and his smile warms my heart.  
  
Maybe there is hope. 


End file.
